Once NEPA takes light, my neighbour will immediately rush outside to check whether it is only our compound that is affected or the whole street.


She is very fond of doing it.


And if she notices that we are the only ones without light, she will shout: “God abeg o! Other people get light o!”


But if she checks and sees that the whole street is dark, she will relax and say: “Ah, thank God. At least no be only us.”


So tonight, she came back late from work.


As she was coming, the whole street was dark.


But when she passed my window, she suddenly saw light inside my room and called me: “Neighbour, wait… we get light?”


I said, “Yes, we have light.”


She was shocked.


“Jesus! How? I passed the whole street and everywhere is dark!”


I replied "Miracle no dey tire Jesus nah"


She smiled and said: “Thank God o! Our neighbours go dey jealous us now, the same way I dey jealous them when we no get light."


Ehhh!?


I asked her, “So you dey always check like that?”


She said yes.


That anytime others get light and we don’t, she no dey ever get peace of mind, and she dey always pray make they carry every body light at once.


Nawaoh 😂


Chinecherem Onu 🖊️

Someone knocked on my office door this afternoon while I was working.


I opened the door...


Only for me to see my colleague standing there with one fine cake in her hand.


Before I could even ask anything, she stretched the cake toward me.


AHH!


I said: “Wait o… today is not my birthday na!”


She started laughing and said: “I know. My birthday is tomorrow, but since tomorrow is Saturday, I decided to bring the cake today so everyone in the office can celebrate with me. The manager said I should give it to you so you’ll help me share it during lunch break.”


Awwww!


I collected the cake and hugged her immediately.


I said: “Happy birthday in advance!”


She smiled and said thank you.


As she wanted to leave my office, I jokingly asked: “So… where are we turning up tomorrow?”


The smile on her face just reduced small.


Then she said: “Honestly, there won’t be any party again.”


I asked: “Why na?”


She now explained that she recently moved in here and all her family members are far away.


According to her, she had already ordered food trays, small chops and drinks before realizing she would just spend the birthday alone.


Then she said after work, she was planning to call the vendor and cancel everything.


Ahhh!


Like she wants to cancel food trays… small chops… and drinks??


No nah!


Immediately, I looked at her straight and asked: “Who told you your family is not here?”


The way this girl looked at me ehn... I knew she didn’t expect that.


Before she could even talk, I pulled a chair for her inside my office.


I said: “See ehn… from today, I am your sister in this city. Don’t cancel anything.”


Her face changed immediately.


She said: “Are you serious??”


I said: “Very serious. Birthday comes once a year. You will not stay indoors and be lonely while I’m here.”


This girl jumped up! She was so happy.


She kept saying: “Thank you so much… I really thought I was going to spend tomorrow alone.”


I then told her: “Tomorrow morning, expect me in your house. We are partying properly.”


She thanked me again and said she would have to tell the food vendor to bring everything early tomorrow morning.


I said: “Yes oo! Very early abeg...


We don’t do late night parties in our family.”


Happy birthday in advance, my sister from another mother.


Tomorrow, we party well, my blood! ❤️😂😂


Chinecherem Onu 🖊️

So, when I called my hairstylist earlier today to branch at my house after she closed from work...


Because I wanted to make my hair this evening, the first thing she asked was: “Hope say no be "all back" you wan do again, Neche?”


I said, “No o. I’m done with all back. Level don change.”


She shouted, “Wow! Congrats o!”


Then she asked if there was anything she should help me buy from her shop.


I said no.


She said, “Like attachment or anything for your hair?”


I said, “No, just come first.”


She said, “Hmmmm… that means you bought attachment from somewhere else instead of buying from me.”


Haaaa!!


I told her to relax and just come first nah.


So when she reached my house, I brought out my combs.


She looked around and asked: “Where is the attachment?”


I said, “I’m not using attachment.”


This girl squeezed face immediately.


She said, “But you said you’re not doing 'all back'.”


I answered, “I’m not doing all back na.”


She asked, “Then what are you doing?”


I replied, “Hands up.”


She asked: “Which one is hands up again??”


I said, “Shuku na ”


She got angry immediately and asked: “How is that different from all back??”


Shuuu?


Hairdresser dey ask me wetin different between Shuku and all back?


You sure say you sabi this work wey you dey do so?! 😑😒


Chinecherem Onu 🖊️

The woman that sells fish pie across our street told me she will no longer sell one for ₦500.


She said it is now ₦700 because things are too expensive in the market.


She even said instead of reducing quality, she would rather increase the price because her brand is known for quality fish pie.


And honestly, she was not lying...


Her fish pie is always very rich. If you bite it, you will actually see enough fish inside.


But still, ₦700 was beyond my budget that moment.


So I left.


As I crossed the road, I was still calculating what ₦500 could buy me when I saw one woman hawking fish pie inside one transparent bowl.


I stopped her immediately.


“How much is your fish pie?”


She said, “₦300.”


I almost shouted... Eeehh?!


I said, “Fish pie? ₦300?”


She said yes, that it was even ₦250 before, but because things are expensive now, she increased it to ₦300.


I was still there processing it when she said:


“Okay, let me give you two for ₦500.”


Omo! Her rate too good!


I was happy and paid immediately.


As she was giving me the fish pie, she looked at me seriously and said:


“But please, while eating it, be careful.”


I laughed.


I told her, “Mama, this is not my first time eating fish pie nah”


She still repeated it again.


“I know, but this is the first time you're buying from me, so... please be careful while eating.”


I was even feeling somehow because why was she emphasizing it like that?


But I just said okay.


I carried my two fish pies home.


Inside my mind, I was complaining about the ₦700 fish pie seller across the road.


“See business people in this country. Imagine selling one fish pie for ₦700 when somebody is selling two for ₦500.”


I entered my room, brought out very cold water, sat down comfortably and took the first bite.


Wait! Something suddenly hooked my gum from the first bite.


AH!


I quickly opened my mouth and dragged it out.


It was one long fish bone.


That was when I looked properly at the fish pie.


Heeeyyy!!


The fish pie was FULL of bones.


Whattttt?? Why so much bones nah?


Abi na bone pie mama sell give me?!! 😭


Chinecherem Onu 🖊️

I entered one salon this evening to wash my hair.


As I was going in, one lady was just stepping out after making her hair.


Okay!


I got inside and told the hairstylist I wanted to quickly wash and dry my hair.


There were two stylists there.


One was busy making someone’s hair while the other attended to me.


As she was washing my hair, they started discussing the lady that had just left before I entered.


They were talking about how she recently moved into the street with her husband and how she allegedly maltreats him.


Honestly, I was shocked because it’s not every day you hear people saying a woman is dealing with her husband like that.


So I asked, “How is that even possible?”


They said sometimes when the man comes back from work, she locks him outside.


One of them even said, “If you look at her very well, you'll know she is dangerous.”


The other customer there asked them how they were sure the stories were true.


One of the stylists said that their customer who lives around the woman told them everything.


Hmmm!


Well, I decided not to say anything again. I was just listening.


After washing my hair, I paid and stepped outside.


Okay!


I was still standing nearby when I heard them talking again.


Then the woman making her hair asked, “This girl that just left, who is she?”


And the hairstylist replied, “Ahh, you don’t know her? She just moved into one street around here. In fact, I heard she is…”


Eeeeh?!!


You heard wetin??


I immediately turned back and entered the salon.


The stylist stopped talking because her colleague had already signaled that I came back.


She then asked, “Fine girl, what happened?”


I said, “I’ve changed my mind. I want to weave the hair. Just do all-back for me.”


She said, “But you said you only wanted to wash and dry it because you were in a hurry to go back home?”


Huh?!


See this one.


Make I hurry go home so una go gossip me after I leave?


Na lie oo!!


I go sit down here till una close.


Rūbbish!!! 😑😒


Chinecherem Onu 🖊️

Immediately I entered this phone accessories line in the market, two guys rushed me at the same time. But one was faster.


The first guy came and started asking me, “What do you want to do?”


So, I brought out my phone to explain.


Before I could even talk properly, another guy rushed in, held my hand and said, “Fine girl, come this side.”


The first guy pushed him immediately and said, “Can’t you see she is my customer? I go beat you for here o.”


Both of them just started exchanging words there.


I told the first one, “It’s okay nah, I will go to another place if una wan fight o.”


He then turned and told me, “Just follow me to my shop. Na so dem dey do. Once they see person talking to customer, they will come and drag the customer.”


I said okay and followed him.


When we entered his shop, he pointed where I should sit down.


Okay! I sat down and brought out my phone again.


I told him, “Look at my phone, I want to change the...”


Before I could finish, he shouted, “Ahhh! Na big phone be this o. Na machine you dey use. If you wan swap am to this new upgraded version, no problem. But you go add small money.”


I just kept quiet and brought out my handkerchief to fan myself because he was not allowing me talk and I was already getting tired.


He saw how I was fanning myself with my hankerchief and asked me, “Heat dey do you?”


I said, “Yes! Heat is much.”


He said, “No problem. Let me buy you cold mineral.”


Next thing, he sent his brother outside to buy chilled drink for me.


I collected it and thanked him.


I then continued with my complaint.


I said, “Like I was saying before...”


He interrupted again, “Relax nah. Finish your mineral first, I dey here with you nah.”


I said okay, thanked him again and continued drinking my mineral.


After I finished, I trashed the empty can.


The guy smiled and said, “Now you have relaxed. We can now talk.”


I smiled too and said, “Yes, thank you very much.”


Then I continued my explanation again.


I said, “My phone fell down in the office and the screen guard broke badly and it is affecting the touchpad. So I came to change the screen guard.”


This boy gave me one bad side look ehh...


He asked, “Is that the only thing you came for?”


I said, “Yes.”


He said, “You’re not swapping your phone?”


I said no.


“You’re not buying another phone?”


I said no.


He continued: “Na only screen guard you come change?”


I said yes.


Then I asked him how much.


I already knew screen guard in the street is 1k, so I even told him, “Since I came to market by myself, just do ₦800 for me.”


This man looked at me for some seconds and said, “My own screen guard is ₦2,500.”


Eh??? Screen guard ₦2,500 for wetin nah?


The man said, “It’s ₦2,500 because of your drink.”


I said, “Howwww??? Did I ask you to buy drink for me? I thought una dey do customer services here.”


He said, “Customer services ke? For screen guard of 1k? Madam bring my money joor.”


Heeey! And that was how we started arguing o.


In the end, I paid ₦1,500 and he fixed the screen guard.


As I was leaving there, anger just full my body.


Why would he ask me to pay for my drink when I am his customer?


Omo!


I no go patronize them again o.


I don see say they no sabi customer services at all. 😩


Chinecherem Onu 🖊️

I went to buy pepper from one shop on my street this afternoon.


When I got there, I met one woman and her daughter.


The daughter was just sitting inside with her phone while the woman was the one attending to everybody.


So I told the woman I wanted to buy pepper.


But she told me to hold on first because she was attending to another customer.


As I was waiting, more people kept coming into the shop.


So I told her: “Madam, your daughter fit help you tie this thing na. I’m very hungry and I need to go cook.”


The woman smiled and said: “No vex. She is having her class.”


Immediately she said that, I was confused.


Because from where I was standing, all I was hearing from the girl’s phone were AI videos and all those TikTok sounds.


So in my mind, I was like: “This girl don lie give her mama so she can sit down and press phone instead of helping in the shop.”


And honestly, I felt bad for the woman.


After waiting for some time, she finally tied the pepper for me.


I even wanted to leave quietly, but my mind no gree me.


So I called the girl outside.


She came out and I asked her: “Do you know what you’re doing is not good?”


She looked surprised and asked: “What did I do?”


I replied: “How will you be watching AI videos and telling your mum you’re having online class?”


She started laughing.


Then she said: “But I’m actually having a class.”


I was like: “Wait… seriously?”


She said yes.


In fact, she explained that she was currently learning AI content creation and even creating videos herself already.


According to her, she has a faceless TikTok account where she posts AI videos and other content… and the videos are actually doing well.


Omo… I was shocked.


I asked her where she learned it from.


She said the class is coached by Precious Chimeremma Nicholas , and that she teaches AI content creation, monetization, TikTok growth, Facebook growth, and all those things.


At that point, I had to apologize for jumping into conclusions before.


And she said no problem.


As I was leaving there, I just kept thinking about how fast this AI content thing is growing.


Because truly, these AI videos are everywhere now and many people are using them to grow online.


Some are even using them to promote their businesses and brands.


And honestly, that’s why I decided to bring it here too.


So if you’ve been looking for an opportunity to learn AI video creation, faceless content, TikTok growth, Facebook monetization and all these trending content skills…


I’ll advise you to join the class.


I’ll pin the WhatsApp link in the comment section.


The class is held in a private Telegram group and once you make payment, you’ll get access immediately.


Learn this skill and use it for your business, your brand, and your personal page.


You see, my jumping into conclusion is not in vain!


Ọya check the link in the comments and send her a dm👇🏽


Chinecherem Onu 🖊️

I told my colleague at work that I wanted to quickly go and eat because I didn’t eat before leaving the house and I was already feeling dizzy.


She said she was hungry too and wanted to follow me. I told her, “Okay o, but we have to be very fast.”


So we entered one restaurant nearby.


Immediately we entered, my colleague saw one girl eating Eba and Egusi soup.


She tapped me and whispered, “See this fine girl. Imagine her eating eba in public.”


Ehhh!!?


I thought she was joking o, so I asked her, “Eba no be food?”


She started explaining how there are some foods that don’t match a woman’s “feminine personality.”


She said she can never sit down outside and eat eba publicly like that.


I asked her, “Is there now food meant for a particular gender?”


She said no matter how hungry she is, she can never do it. In fact, she wouldn’t even allow somebody she knows to eat eba in public.


Toor!


I just said okay nah.


We got to the counter to order food.


She ordered rice, spaghetti and stew, carried her food and went to sit down at an empty table.


I then ordered white soup.


They said they needed some minutes to heat the soup. I said no problem and went back to join her.


When I got to the table, she asked me where my food was.


I told her they were preparing it.


She asked, “Is it Indomie?”


I said, “No.”


She said, “Then what are they preparing?”


I told her to relax, they would bring it soon.


Few minutes later, one woman started coming towards our table carrying a tray with only soup and water.


My colleague quickly touched me and asked, “Hope you’re not the one that ordered that soup o?”


I said calmly, “I’m the one.”


She shouted, “No no no no! Neche, don’t tell me you want to eat eba in public!”


I told her, “Relax na. It’s not eba.”


Immediately the waitress reached our table, she asked me, “Aunty, what are you eating the soup with? Eba or semo?”


Before I could answer, my colleague was already looking at me in complete shock.


I replied, “Noooo! I won't eat eba in public...


Abeg, bring FUFU for me.”


The way this girl turned and squeezed face at me ehn...


She said, “WAIT… you’re planning to eat this in public???”


I told her, “As you can see, it’s not eba. It’s fufu.”


Shebi you said Eba no match woman’s “feminine personality” nah.


Better do your face well...


Allow me eat my food in peace abeg !😒


Chinecherem Onu 🖊️